Abel: You haven’t started menstruation so you can’t get pregnant.
Hauwa: But I’m scared
Abel: It’ll be fine. My biology teacher Mr Olabisi says pregnancy only happens when the girl has started menstruating
Hausa: but my mum said….
Abel: don’t you believe me, I won’t hurt you…Trust me I love you. I’m in secondary school they teach us these things..
My first true menstrual talk was from a deceitful human being (…. because I can’t use the exact words coming to my mind I’d say human being).
Abel had used the same line on three other girls in my estate, Ana wasn’t so lucky because she got pregnant and is now out of school, I don't think her life every really got back to normal or close to normal.
I was 11 and in primary 6 when Abel came with his luring words, puberty started early for me because by primary 5 I was already wearing a bra, menses only came about 8 months later ( about 3 weeks after Abel and I met).
He was this swave teenager and almost every girl I knew in that estate sought his attention. For me, it was easy, our mothers were besties so often met under very awkward settings. He was 16, I still don't know how our mothers felt he could look after the other kids when they needed some "alone time" as they called it. The first few baby sittings were at my house so Abel just sat by the computer in the study area and the remaining kids (myself excluded) ran around the house. The last time I had agreed to be watched, mummy decided going to Mrs Omode's was best since they had a spa day. Abel was cool but a bit more friendly than I remember (maybe because I was in his train).
" Hey Hauwa, we're the oldest why not hangout with me"...my eyes became the size of saucers but I obliged.
We walked up the stairs to what was an average teenage boy's room..." you have this too all to yourself?" "Yes" I swallowed my reservations about the decor and walked to the only chair in the room...Then as my eye adjusted to the blue light I saw the half-naked poster of one of this american musicians (i really can't remember who it was because that was just when he decided the distance between us was too wide). I was almost breathing down his face..."You don't look comfortable on that chair" with all my discomfort I moved closer and as conversation flowed I warmed up to him.
Abel and Favour were the only two children from their parent's 12 year marriage, they had divorced and the mansion was part of the settlement. He and his brother had separate rooms and there were two other spare rooms in the house. My house was a lot different, Kayla and Michel were my twin younger ones but I and Kayla had to share a room so I was intrigued that Abel had a sense of independence.
The next few months we secretly dated (our mothers oblivious of it all) and we had gotten too comfortable. We had even kissed and because he was about entering SS3 he felt entitled to have sex. I was more scared and didn't share his excitement. Abel had several theories and I wasn't buying any. I knew he was seeing other girls but each time he called me childish (after all I was a child).
He was raw first to feel them (my newly developing breasts) and so when he brought the menses discussion I almost gave in but instead broke off the relationship and ran home.
...Mummy always wondered why I never wanted to go to Mrs Omode's, my previous excitement was now non-existent, she never thought anything of it. I remember the day I asked her about menstruation, her words were enlightening and somewhat empowering, " Hauwa, I was putting off this discussion because I was scared you had grown up too fast but...we will discuss it"
she shared the truth with me..
- Six months after that I was in almost done with JSS 1 the rumours of Ana's pregnancy was all over school, she lived a few houses from ours and I knew Abel and her were an item seeing that he was to of school and awaiting JAMB the entire period. That same evening Abel and his mum were at my house and this time his mother was furious, obviously he was responsible for the pregnancy and they needed an action plan.
I felt lucky I wasn't in Ana's condition, I couldn't help but wonder why she or any girl will fall for his cheap lies. The parents in the estate often said the children were too mature for their age but no one took any action to prepare us for the challenges this 'mature' mindset would bring...
I am a 3rd year University student now and I always wondered what happened to Ana after all these years...