One of Jude’s kicks was all it took, she lost balance and fell hitting her head, when she grew quiet he left she was woozy for a brief moment and curled up in that corner was where she died. The open head injury was deep and nothing could have been done at the instant to save her even if anyone tried.
Her life could have been saved, Wanda didn’t leave the marriage because of her children and the supposed love for her husband. Family and friends were depleted, everyone was tired and began to avoid her; in-laws would guilt her into staying (the same in-laws that promised to protect her).
The neighbours knew Jude beat her ever so often but no one ever called the police probably thinking no help would come to her and they would be in Jude’s bad graces. No justification for his actions but what if Jude got proper care, attention and thought? he probably would not have been abused.
Every abuser has a story likewise the ones who allow the abuse go on, some survivors claim that was the best representation of love they knew so they stayed until it was unbearable, others felt guilt-tripped (like Wanda) but when the strength came, they got help.
There are thousands of women who are battling domestic violence, children who experience abuse daily. Like in the case of Jude; long term abuse as a child was psychological explanation for his actions.
He was later sentenced to death, his execution method some felt was humane, they wanted him to suffer.
It was a giving; Flo and Offy adopted the children and no one had issues with it, Oma was more angry at herself for letting this continue.
Domestic violence should be discouraged and stopped, don’t penetrate the culture of silence speak up.
My little research while writing this uncovered some disturbing laws and code enshrined in Nigerian law and I thought to myself, how can we be chanting STOP domestic violence in one breath and still have laws like the penal code in Northern Nigeria which encourages violence against women. Underneath that provision, wife beating for the purpose of correction is legal by use of section 55(1) (d) of the penal code.
However, in May 2013, the National Assembly based a bill called the Violence Against Persons bill to reduce gender-based violence it was finally passed into law in May 2015 (the VAPP act 2015). It improves on the penal code as well as makes provision for compensation and the protection of their rights.
The law states that a person who batters his/her spouse commits an offence and is liable on conviction to a term of inprisonment not exceeding 3years or a fine not exceeding N200,000. (for more on VAPP 2015 see: http://law pavilion.com/blog/he-violence-against-persons-prohibition-act-2015/ )
I saw this story from Mauritania and it explains a lot, some African culture is just barbaric
("You're the daughter of a woman whose husband broke her hands. Your grandmother's legs were fractured by her husband. You must be loved," Salimata said, citing her mother's words.
The 19-year-old woman from Mauritania's Soninké ethnic group, married to a man who also beats her, said she taught herself to believe what her mother told her.
"I felt like an animal that had to be disciplined," she said. "As time passed, I came to believe that my husband beats me only when he is at the peak of his love for me."
Mauritania, a poor, mainly Muslim nation, has deep social and racial divides, each group with its unique marriage norms. read more here : http://news.trust.org/item/20170225060615-sl6jl/.)
With Wanda’s tale told, my desire is to get it out through other means, hopefully we will get to watch an adaptation of the sorry or listen to it.. Watch this space.
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